Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Randomize
