I think my fart just growled at me.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
