We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
we made out on top of his cat.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
