JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
