Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
