How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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