I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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