Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
