i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
