and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
