three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
