He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
My cat gives me a boner
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
The ass gains better be worth it
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