either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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