shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
