i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Randomize
