Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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