Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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