yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
