as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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