dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
