i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
