hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
