You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
