but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
