Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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