So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
