he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
