if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
