the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
