butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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