I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
