Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
