whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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