I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
