The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
she looked like the before picture.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
