8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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