i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
She even gives head with a lisp.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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