i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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