it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
