i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
