bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
