Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
