he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
