I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
