She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
she peed on how many people?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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