So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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