You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
