this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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