Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
