She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
