I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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