Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
